Looking back I will always remember the fear of going on holiday when I was in my early twenties. In truth it was probably more the fear of stuttering during the holiday. At this stage of my life I was going on holiday with my friends on what many in England call a “lads holiday”. On average there would be six of us who would travel to somewhere like Spain each summer for two weeks. Now for most people this would be something to look forward to however for me it was something that I used to dread. Why?……

Well I was not exactly the best at socialising mainly due to the fact that I had a speech impediment. Just going out on a typical Saturday night would cause me enough problems, such as struggling to order the drinks and struggling to converse with my friends – on holiday for two weeks in this way is like having fourteen Saturday’s in a row!

This is why I had the fear – how would I be able to copy with all of this socialising? I was also very much a loner but a loner who virtually forced himself to socialise. I loved being on my own to gather my own thoughts – plus I was able to speak fluently when I was talking to myself. When and where would I have the opportunity to be on my own during these two weeks abroad?

So these were the questions and fears that were running through my mind prior to the holiday. I actually went on six “lads holidays” and strangely enough they were all top class and very enjoyable. My fluency was also far better than I had imagined it would have been – this may have had something to do with the warmer climate – my speech always seemed to improve in the summer months for some reason. Or perhaps the alcohol had something to do with it!

Steve http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

This is quite an interesting question; after having the speech impediment for eighteen years and after attending traditional speech therapy for so many years it was, without doubt, very hard to maintain the belief that one day I would be able to speak fluently.

I guess this is where the power of parenting comes into play. My mother and father were really into the “positive thinking” approach. My dad would often say “there is no such thing as can’t”.

This approach was for each aspect of life and therefore was not just there for the benefit of improving my speech.

Another famous line from my father would be “Why accept second best?”

A great deal of what he said really stuck with me and I was also very much aware that I needed to work hard in life with a great deal of determination and focus.

With regards to my own speech what kept me believing was the fact that I could talk to myself perfectly fluently – if I could talk to myself fluently then there really was no excuse – I just had to work extremely hard at working out what I was doing differently when I spoke to actual people!

When the speech and language therapists would say that you can’t cure a stutter I would just remember what my father had said about the word can’t. There is such a large amount of negativity around which I just had to ignore; these speech therapists and other so called “professionals” had never had a stutter and therefore had no real understanding of what I was going through.

So here is my tip of the day; ignore all of those demonic voices that are in your head or that you hear in your daily life. They are the failures where as we want to become the winners. Start to have an “I can do” attitude rather than “I can’t do”. Start to believe in yourself and to only accept the best in life.

Steve  http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

Here is my review of Caleta de Fuste in Fuerteventura! I have spent the last two summer holidays in Playa Blanca, Lanzorote and I have to say that I love it there. I was some what wary of trying somewhere new however my nine year old son and sixteen year old step daughter persuaded me to be brave etc.

Caleta de Fuste is quite a new resort; I believe it has only been in existence as a tourist area for the last fifteen years. The recession has hit the area quite hard and various building projects have come to an abrupt halt. This aside I have to say that I loved the place – as did the children. We stayed in a two bedroom villa which was around fifteen minutes from the beach – and what a beach? Just amazing.

There are numerous places to eat and dine out of an evening and the weather was an average of 33 each day. I am already planning my return for next year; if you are looking for a quiet holiday at a clean and friendly resort Caleta is the place to be.

Steve  http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

I would have preferred it if my beloved England had managed to return back to the British Isles with the trophy however they played very poorly with a lack of desire and passion and were quite frankly a complete waste of space. My nine year old son used to view the likes of Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and John Terry as “Gods” – he now realises that they are just plain AVERAGE (at best).

Steve  http://www.stutter-stuttering.com

This was the typical scenario:

It is a Monday morning and my first lesson is English. I have just walked into the classroom and I have noticed that there is a book about Shakespeare on each desk. Straight away I start to worry that this could mean that I will be asked to read out in front of the whole class as this is something that I rarely could do without stuttering.

The teacher then walks in to the classroom and shouts out:

“OK class, quiet please. I want each of you, starting with Abbot (the first name in alphabetical order), to read out one paragraph from the book in front of you.”

This was not good – why can’t she (the teacher) just read the book to us?

I wanted to know which paragraph I was going to have to read. I knew from past experience that there are eight people ahead of me in the class; Abbot, Butler, Cohen etc. I had a quick check to make sure they were all in the room - which they were – I then counted down to the ninth paragraph and hoped that it would only contain a few lines of text.

I then looked at the words within the paragraph hoping that there were no, or only a few, “b” words – I just hated “b” words and found them very hard to say.

It was then a matter of waiting my turn to speak. This was not nice and that is putting it mildly. My hands would start to sweat and my brain would be going into overdrive with the demonic voices having a field day. The teacher would then eventually say:

“OK Steve, if you could read the next paragraph please.”

This is when I wanted my world to end – for the ground to somehow swallow me up and to take me away from this situation. This is more than just nerves, this is fear – a fear that only a person that has ever had a stutter can truly understand.

Steve  http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

As an example of when I was aged nineteen; I had been dating a young lady for the past sixteen months. It is a Wednesday evening and I have just arrived at her house. During the evening, which we spent in a local bar, she suddenly stated in an excited voice:

“I haven’t told you my news yet Steve. My cousin has invited us to his wedding in London. I can’t wait Steve it should be an amazing day.”

Now for most people this would be something to look forward to - but for me this was something to dread. I did not know anyone from this side of her family and I would therefore have to meet a lot of new people – this was something that I was particular poor at doing, well at least fluently!

I could just imagine all of the questions that these people would be asking me:

Where do you work Steve?
Which football team do you support?
What would you like to drink Steve?
What are your hobbies Steve?

I really wanted to have a t-shirt printed with all of the answers on the front.

The frustration was immense because I really wanted to be able to enjoy these events; I wanted to be able to mix and meet new people – the speech impediment just would not allow it.

Steve      http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

http://blog.stammering-stuttering.co.uk/interview-number-six.html

I have rather neglected these interviews lately due to the fact that I have been so busy. I should make more of an effort as I know people like to read these interviews - please accept my apologies - I will try harder in the future!

Have a great weekend,

Steve

Gary from Stroud attended a two-day weekend stuttering therapy course in January 2010.

Me: Hi Gary - The first question that I have for you is this: What prompted you to attend the course?

Gary: Hi Steve. Well I had bought the stuttering therapy DVD back in October 2009 and had been working hard to implement all of the technques. I spoke with you on the telephone at various stages after purchasing the film and in the end decided that I wanted to come and meet you. I had quite a severe stutter and even though the DVD proved to be extremely beneficial I felt that the one-to-one tuition could help me to achieve the total fluency that I have always dreamed of.

Me: So how did you find the course?

Gary: I am sure you remember how nervous I was Steve but in the end we had a lot of fun and more importantly I learnt a lot. You speak with a lot of passion and the amount of work that you put in to eradicate your own speech impediment was quite incredible. That passion certainly rubbed off on me and actually showed me that I needed to work even harder. As you quite rightly stated during the course the reward for achieving total fluency is massive and therefore we need to put in the maximum amount of effort to make it happen.

Me: Well it is now the middle of June which is about five months after you attended the course - how are getting on at the moment?

Gary: Top class Steve. I am so proud of myself - I have worked harder on overcoming the stutter than I have on anything else in my life and as you often say hard work pays off. I have to admit that there are still a few demons in my head but I am trying my utmost to repel them - so far so good. I will not be entirely satisfied however until the last one of these demons is killed off once and for all. Something else you often say Steve which again is something that I now follow: Why accept second best?

Me: Well you should be proud of yourself - you deserve the success that you have achieved.

Gary: Thanks Steve - my family can not believe the transformation - not only in my speech but with my overall attitude to life. Thanks again Steve for all of your help.

Me: No problem - it has been a pleasure.

http://blog.stammering-stuttering.co.uk/stuttering-up-the-career-ladder.html

http://blog.stammering-stuttering.co.uk/stuttering-when-speaking-on-the-telephone.html

I did not quit and instead decided to press ahead. One thing that I soon realised was that the higher a person managed to climb up the grades at this company the less worked they seemed to do - sounds crazy doesn't it? They also seemed to have to make less telephone calls and instead would just delegate the majority of these to the people at the lowest grades.

The one sure fire way to move up the grades, apart from trying to excell in the current role, was to take and pass the industry examinations - I therefore started my studies! I worked extremely hard and a couple of years later I had progressed to become a grade six - this was a team leader role.

I was now in my early twenties and my life, apart from having a stutter of course, was very good. I had also met a young lady and we had been dating for a number of months.

This is when I decided that the time had arrived when I was going to attempt to overcome the speech impediment. Everything was in place - I would have support from my loving family as well as from my girlfriend and her family.

As you may well have read in other sections of my websites such as this page: http://www.stutter-stuttering.com/overcoming_my_stutter.htm, progess was quite slow but after around a year I managed to achieve total fluency. That was fifteen years ago.

My life could now start - no longer did I need to accept second best. The first thing I decided to do was to leave the insurance company as I had never really wanted to work there in the first place.

My next move was to set up The How To Stop Stuttering Centre and I am still helping people to overcome their stutter all these years later.

Steve Hill

So much to my annoyance I have been promoted; yes one of the only people in the country who did not want to gain promotion. I had basically been handed the promotion, even though I had not applied for the position, due to the fact that I had worked at the lower grade for a record four years.

My main fear was answering the telephone; just to say "Good morning" would be difficult enough as I had no real confidence in my ability to say words beginning with "G". I also knew that it would be a struggle to make the telephone calls - for obvious reasons.

I was working in an open plan office which did not exactly help as I was unable to "hide" anywhere.

So how did it go Steve? I can hear you saying.

Not good would be the understatement of the year. I had built it up and worried about it for so long which really did not help the situation. My stuttering was basically at its most severe and it was extremely tough.

Yes people did laugh and my poor team leader did not know what do. "Am I able to sack a person who has a stutter for stuttering? He probably thought to himself.

On many a night I would struggle to fall asleep as I was just so stressed and worried about going to work. This was one of those "Catch 22" situations - the less sleep I have the worst the stutter would be on the next day. The fact that I knew I needed the sleep made it all the more harder to do!

I wanted to quit work but really did not want to go through the interview process again. I was stuck and in need of help.

I will continue with "what happened next" in my next post for those of you who are interested.

Steve Hill